Before I found out I had lupus I was so ill I didn't even think about dating . Once I was finally diagnosed and starting feeling better, I still felt like I didn't have anything to give someone ... I needed to work on me ... So For the first year I made the decision not to date just to focus on improving my health and educating myself and my family ... While I was doing this my crazy friend told a gentleman in first class to ask me out .. Omg I was so embarrassed ... Well he did ... Went on a date with no expectations .... Told him that night that I had lupus so I could give him in "out" in oppurtunity to run .... Lol.... To my surprise he didn't run like the wind !!! Long story short .... 10 months later were still together and enjoying 95% of each other ... I won't lie it hasn't been easy and there's been a few times he's wanted to run or Ive tried to chase him away .... Amazingly we've stuck it out !!!! I'm learning to love and accept myself for whom I am which makes me easier to love !!!! I'm a hopeless romantic so I know there's someone out there for everyone !!!! Take care of yourself and God will take care of the rest !!!!!

My husband has pointed out that I'm not nearly not as "eager" as I had been when we were dating. Mind you, our dating period was pre-diagnosis with SLE.

Since being diagnosed, there are nights when I truly want to be intimate with him but I am so unbelievably exhausted that I have no energy to exert. I did notice that with prednisone, my body "felt" better. I was more energetic and pain-free, which resulted in me being more willing to get close. Once I was weened off however, I began experiencing the fatigue along with excessive joint pain. I circled back to consistently not being in the mood. I made some adjustments to my diet (I avoided gluten and beef) and with consistent exercise, I felt my energy went back up. Those two lifestyle changes definitely helped with rekindling our intimacy.

I did have a male friend who was more of a best friend then lover and the physical nature of our relationship was very free. Rarely sexual but very open and connected. We were well but I think needed things I could not give him...and it did end...badly actualy. So yes think our mental has a lot to do with our physical and we are stil responsible for keeping our partner happy as well. Which can be difficult given our state of mind and well being. It isnt easy a good supportive partner helps but I feel it starts with iur own thinking. We have to love ourselves rashes and all.

@A MyLupusTeam Member
That is wonderful news. I have been doing a lot of research on natural remedies to treat my symptoms. I also plan to adjust my diet (reduce if not discontinue sugar use, red meats, starches, etc) and begin exercising a great deal more. There are supplements i will be trying in hopes to help my fatigue, inflammation, and overall well being. Thank you for your feedback.

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A MyLupus...

I asked this same question years ago or last year, I don't know. Time flies. My libido has absolutely made a plummeting dive. I don't even remember to think about it! Ha. It's quite surprising that I completely forget about it. I went to having passionate sex with my husband 4-6 days a week even after 25 years of marriage to maybe once every other week. And he has to remind me. Then he feels bad because he knows what having sex does to me. Wears me out, bruises me, and .... no need to go on. TMI, sorry. But you asked! It tears me apart that I no longer have any sexual desire. 😩