It helps simply educating close friends with what is going on with you...and I keep my sanity and friendships through online and texting. If a friend doesn't understand what is going on with you and doesn't care to ask or listen... let em go. I am finding the added stress is not a good thing, it is best just to not put yourself in those situations. Don't be rude or tell them you aren't associating with them anymore, just put your energy to what is positive in your life, and your relationships will follow (or not).

Yes with friends and family not to much support or just having time for my struggles they don't want to hear about it!! Very sad 😭

@A MyLupusTeam Member. You're right. It is life and death. I've just been feeling so lame saying Oh I'm too tired or making other excuses. And I haven't told most people what I have. I'm still having trouble saying it to myself but what you said made so much sense. Thank you.

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A MyLupus...

Good friends will understand and give you time to heal. Let them know that you are in a flair and really need to have complete rest and adjust to medication and it might take a few months. Sometimes you will be able to talk and other times not but that you will call them when able and are not forgetting about them. This is a life and death struggle and can attack all of your organs so you really need to get well!!!

Many friends and family have a limited tolerance for hearing about illness. I have found there is a time and date stamp on how long people tolerate discussions of physical symptoms. Because we are so overwhelmed with our own physical symptoms we sometimes lose track of the friend we were before our illness. People want their old friend, their old mom or your sister etc. We have to remember that we are more than our illness and other symptoms. Strive to find other things to talk about with your family and friends and you will see them start responding to you differently. It's not their fault that they can't continue the empathy every day. They want for you to be happy to be with them. We hurt and struggle whether we talk about it or don't. Come to this group to unload and try to give your friends and family a break. I have found that my friends accept my limitations and are very empathetic but also glad to see their old friend back. I play cards with a wonderful, intelligent 90-year-old woman who is the model of dignity. She has macular degeneration and severe arthritis. One day when talking about some illness she sad "I hurt every day but I am always blessed when I see a new one". She never complains but just tolerates it and continues to enjoy the best of life she can have. She is my Role model.