I agree with Wolfbite, although my husband is very understanding and patient, I know at times sex is pushed aside because I am too tired. I try and focus our time on the mornings before work and weekends......and yes.....desire, although most times it isn't there, it happens along the way.

I think both effects it. When I am off birth control I feel so much better. I'm actually debating stopping mine. Its very hard to be in the mood when you feel like crap all the time.
Lately has been hard. I got my husband a flesh light toy to help when Im not in the mood. I can barely even use that because my hands hurt so bad. Its super frustrating. But he likes it and usually takes over when I am tired.
Maybe try ordering some toys off of Amazon for yourself or even as a couple that doesnt require much work to get the job done. They are nice and cheap too. This has helped me as well.

This ruined my marriage. This is why my husband still thinks I'm cheating and we're now separated. I think it's Lupus because I'm not on birth control. But birth control does cause you to have a low libido.

Birth control pills can zap your libido. Maybe change to an IUD or non hormone method for awhile.

It can be a problem with lupus and other health issues. Talk with him. Maybe pick a time when not so exhausted - like in the morning because at the end of the day we really are exhausted. Praying for you.