JamiMilardo first although you may feel like it, you are not alone. I have no idea how it feels to be you, but what I do know there is always hope when we believe there is. For me, it meant I had to give up depending on the one who was hurting me the most and put my life into the hands of the One who could heal all of me. It was difficult to walk out the door of my house four years ago, but God gave me the strength and courage to do so after accepting six years of mental abuse from my husband. I believe each person has the ability to leave toxic situations even if they are scared. Fear is the only thing that holds us back. I agree with HenryEy, if at all possible, the first step is to leave the situation and then seek help from your local social services department which has the resources and support systems in place to help you. Jami with all you have going on, and I don't minimize anything you have shared, even with all that's going on you still have within you to move beyond your current situation. For me, the decision I had to make was to live and now 3 years, later I have my own home and live a stress-free life. Sure I had lots of family support, but whether you have family support or not you can make it on your own. The credit for my mental and spiritual healing goes to God who restored my life and made me see that I was one, not alone and two, I was my own worse enemy because I allowed a toxic person to control my life. That's my story and I pray some of what I have shared helps you to see that even in the worse situations things can turn around for you by just making a choice. Blessings. Praying for you.

Yvette, I also have insomnia. I’m not a fan of trazadone as it makes me groggy no matter the amt of hours I sleep. I found that otc unisom melts help me get rest without feeling groggy next day.

My earlier post disappeared--PLEASE GET AWAY from this abuser who will worsen your health.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=domestic+abuse+hotlin...
The above is a website for a domestic abuse hotline. Your county social services office may have assistance as well. Take care and blessings.

What can we lupus people take for insomnia I've got it bad,I'm on hydroxichloquin and imuran,I tryed trazodone makes me feel awful and anxious.

Hi Jamie.
I am firstly so sorry for what you are suffering in all directions.
Secondly I am so glad you reached out to us lupus warriors and not suffered sitting alone with nowhere to go with it all.
This is a really hard situation you are in for sure. It is solvable but very difficult without person support. I wish I lived closer to you as I could help you physically at least.
I understand you certainly would not have the time or energy to seek help by going to sessions etc. Nor the physical capability.
The only thing I can suggest is going online to Psych Central or similar. They can set up a psychologist fit for your situation to talk to and have sessions online.
I understand the dilemma you are in with your selfish narcissistic think of himself
s…h…. boyfriend. I lived with a father and brother of same mentality. Till I finally escaped and never had a serious relationship ever because of them. I am now 65. I was however blessed with a beautiful daughter along the way.
So I feel very rich. Although like you am living from payment to payment with no savings as lupus took everything from me as it has done you.
So understand how hard these a…h…. are to deal with. If that’s any consolation.
I see a psychologist every month to deal with past and present issues. It helps to know I have him there to vent all my frustration out on.
In Australia (where I live) they have a healthcare plan put in action by your GP for chronic illnesses.
It allows 6 sessions with a psychologist - physio -
dietitians among other things. If 6 sessions is not enough GP writes a referral to ask for further 6 etc. and this can go on for the whole time you suffer your chronic illness. All free of charge.
So I’m not sure what your situation in your area is but it certainly cant hurt if possible to reach out to psychologists online through psych central or similar.
You are a very brave girl to come as far as you have.
Please don’t give up. Help could be just around the corner to sort out some of your challenges which in turn may filter down to fix other things.
I will be with you in spirit as I am sure everyone on this site will be too. So you are not alone we are here and understand.
Praying for you to get rid of toxic people or person in your life and to be replaced by a caring thoughtful empathetic human.
Hugs and love.🥰💜🦋