A good friend with lupus says she's tempted to say, "You don't look stupid!" LOL!

Depending on who it is, I might suggest that they read and learn more about the disease and its invisible nature. We can all relate to this frustration, Carolyn, and I try to remember that it's rooted in their ignorance.

No one else walks in our shoes, but as Brenda says, we at least understand each other!😘

First I might briefly explain what lupus is. Then I tell them that lupus is an invisible disease. Although I look good, you may not see my pain but I feel it and live with it every day. I have been snarky too and have told some people they wouldn't want a day in my shoes. The latter is for people who didn't believe me. If I know them well enough, I share this link with them. It's made a difference in how many have reacted to me the next time we saw or talked each other.

https://www.lupus.org/blog/sharing-the-journey-...

Sharing the Journey: Explaining Lupus to Others

https://www.lupus.org/blog/sharing-the-journey-explaining-lupus-to-others

I ask them how's your day coming along.

Remarks like that are so hurtful! Your response to that question could be," and you don't look like a doctor!" Most people don't have anything to say after that. Sometimes when I get so weary of people's unsolicited advice and opinions, I tell them that their advice is going against my doctors advice and they sputter around a bit but it makes them think! We are the experts on our diseases and bodies and other people aren't!

I always say," looks can be deceiving. " They usually don't say anything else.