"But that's not the way it's supposed to be!" is a common thing we say when our expectations fall short. It happens to all of us. Some members of MyLupusTeam have found the practice of "allowing and letting be" in the midst of a trying to be a way to minimize anxiety or heaviness.
Mindfulness experts suggest a few ways that we can notice -- not push away -- how we feel during difficult moments. There are physical responses we can notice (heaviness in the shoulders, tightness in the chest), and we should also take note of our emotional responses to disappointment (blame, self-doubt, exasperation). These can be opportunities to realign our expectations and extend grace to ourselves.
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No information on MyLupusTeam should be construed as medical and/or health advice.