The holidays can mean family time, traditions, travel, and celebrations. They can also bring long days, packed schedules, and pressure to keep going even when your body is asking for a break.

For people living with lupus, that can be especially complicated. Fatigue and pain are among the most common symptoms of lupus, and they can make familiar holiday activities harder. Emotional stress can also trigger a lupus flare.

In a poll of MyLupusTeam members, we asked how they handle holiday stress. Here’s how they responded:

Members’ comments show that protecting your energy can mean simplifying traditions, resting more, accepting help, or changing plans at the last minute.

Beyond the poll, MyLupusTeam members have shared ways they protect their comfort, manage symptoms, and make room for rest and connection. Here are six strategies drawn from their experiences.

Some MyLupusTeam members said the holidays became more manageable when they stopped trying to do everything. Lupus fatigue can be persistent, so it may help to choose how to spend your limited energy.

One member shared, “We’re doing a very minimal Christmas here. It has been a great relief not to be traveling this year, and we’re doing take-out with good friends on Christmas Day. I ordered cookies instead of baking and am taking a few days to put together the traditional Christmas cake. I feel a bit sad to miss all the preparations, but there’s always next year!”

“We’re doing a very minimal Christmas here. It has been a great relief not to be traveling this year, and we’re doing take-out with good friends on Christmas Day.”

— A MyLupusTeam member

Another said, “I no longer feel obligated to send cards to everyone. Instead, I send cards to people I know will reciprocate and call some others.”

Scaling back can mean fewer decorations, simpler meals, less travel, or fewer obligations. The goal is not to give up what matters but to save energy for the parts of the season you value most.

Doing everything at once can be exhausting. For people with lupus, joint pain, stiffness, and fatigue can make activities like standing in the kitchen, carrying shopping bags, or decorating the house more difficult. Some members start early and break holiday chores into smaller pieces.

Spreading out tasks might also mean:

• Decorating over several days
• Shopping when stores are quieter
• Preparing food ahead of time

One MyLupusTeam member said, “I try to get everything I can done early. When possible, I will shop in the middle of the week when there are fewer people in the stores.”

You may also need to accept that some tasks may not get finished. A shorter to-do list may help leave more room for rest and avoid overdoing it on days when lupus symptoms are more noticeable.

Rest came up again and again in members’ comments. Because lupus fatigue can be persistent and unpredictable, taking breaks may be necessary even when you haven’t done much physical activity.

One member put it plainly: “I have had lupus for 26 years and I found taking rest if needed is non-negotiable.”

Another described stepping away for small chunks of time without leaving the gathering entirely: “I’ve learned to just politely excuse myself from the scene and take a little rest as I need it. So far that works well. Everyone seems to understand, and things continue on. 🥰”

“I’ve learned to just politely excuse myself from the scene and take a little rest as I need it. Everyone seems to understand, and things continue on.”

— A MyLupusTeam member

Rest might happen before an event, in the middle of one, or afterward. Some members also plan for comfortable places to sit or nap when visiting family.

When lupus causes pain, stiffness, or exhaustion, even everyday tasks can take more effort than usual. Fortunately, holiday meals and gatherings do not have to fall on one person.

One MyLupusTeam member said, “I share the load with my husband. He cooks. I try, and when I need to rest, he’s all for it.”

Another shared, “Since all three of my kids are married … holiday dinners are at one of their houses with everyone contributing.”

Help can mean sharing cooking, moving the celebration to someone else’s home, using delivery or takeout services, or asking someone to take over a task when your energy drops. Accepting help can make it easier to stay part of the celebration without carrying the whole workload.

Lupus symptoms may not follow the calendar. Fatigue, joint pain, and other symptoms can vary from day to day, and flares can bring new or worsening symptoms. Some members said they decide what they can manage based on how they feel that day.

One MyLupusTeam member explained, “Each day is different. So I decide that day what I want. I may push through. I may take several breaks or even take a day off. And yes, I cancel at the last minute or avoid stress.”

“Each day is different. … I may push through. I may take several breaks or even take a day off. And yes, I cancel at the last minute or avoid stress.”

— A MyLupusTeam member

Another described adjusting from moment to moment: “You have to be flexible because your body runs the show, and only YOU know how to accommodate moment by moment to get the most out of each day. ❤️”

That flexibility might mean arriving late, leaving early, taking more breaks, or canceling altogether. Having a backup plan can take some of the pressure off when lupus symptoms change unexpectedly.

Holiday stress is not always about the to-do list. For some members, crowds, noise, family tension, or health concerns can make gatherings harder. Stress can also trigger lupus flares, so limiting stressful situations may be about protecting your physical health as well as your peace of mind.

One member shared, “I have cut down on events. This time of year is crazy — parties, events, life in general. It seems to be working so far. I also have unfortunately not included some family with drama.”

Another MyLupusTeam member said, “Holidays are hard for us lupies! I’ve just learned to say no. And ‘no’ is a complete sentence. My body simply cannot handle crowds, children crying, or any extra stimulation. My family is not supportive or understanding, so I try to refrain from much interaction with them.”

“Holidays are hard for us lupies! I’ve just learned to say no. And ‘no’ is a complete sentence.”

— A MyLupusTeam member

Protecting your peace may mean choosing smaller gatherings, limiting time with stressful people, or saying no when an event feels like too much. Planning breaks and setting boundaries can be part of managing stress.

Taking Care of Yourself During the Holidays

Protecting your well-being during the holidays doesn’t have to mean giving up everything you enjoy. Choosing activities that fit your energy level, making time for rest, and adjusting plans when needed can help you manage the season in ways that work for you.

The holidays can also be emotionally challenging, especially when fatigue, pain, or unpredictable lupus flares affect how you participate. If you’re feeling lonely, sad, or overwhelmed, consider reaching out to friends, family, or others in your support community.

If these feelings continue or interfere with daily life, a mental health professional may be able to offer support.