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Your Guide to Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
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Living with lupus can make everyday stress feel bigger. Pain, fatigue, brain fog, and unpredictable flares can make “normal life” pressures harder to bounce back from. And when stress builds, it can be tough to know what will actually help in the moment.
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In a long-running Q&A thread on MyLupusTeam, members have shared more than 800 strategies they use to relax and manage stress. Some tips are quick “reset buttons,” and others are routines people return to again and again.
Here are seven common approaches that came up repeatedly, shared in members’ own words.
For many people, sound can instantly change the atmosphere. Members described using music to tune out stress, calm anxiety, and create a sense of “me time,” especially while resting.
“What makes me relax is putting on some soft music, lying down, closing my eyes, and just listening,” one MyLupusTeam member shared. “I usually wake up a few hours later.”
“I pull myself away every night at least an hour before bedtime,” another member said. “I listen to native flute music — very calming and relaxing. I do this so that I can have ‘me time.’”
Warm water routines came up repeatedly, often paired with Epsom salts, candlelight, and cozy recovery time afterward. For some members, the focus is on soothing the body. For others, it’s about creating a calming ritual they can count on when everything feels like too much.
As one MyLupusTeam member put it, “A nice warm bath, clean PJs, into bed, and a little comfort from my partner helps me.”
Another member shared, “To relax, I take a candlelit bath in lavender Epsom salts and have a cup of herbal tea.”
And another wrote: “I find a hot Epsom salt bath helps, followed by use of my heating pad and pain meds.”
When taking warm baths or applying heating pads, stick to a warm (not hot) temperature, keep sessions short, and stop if you feel dizzy or overheated. Very hot 
temperatures can be risky for some people with lupus, so it’s best to listen to your body.
If you use Epsom salts, research shows your skin doesn’t absorb much magnesium. People with kidney problems should check with their clinician before using them regularly.
Always ask your healthcare provider what’s safest for you, especially if you have nerve symptoms or trouble regulating body temperature.
A lot of MyLupusTeam members talked about getting out of stress mode by intentionally slowing down their mind and body. Some use meditation, structured breathing, or apps or classes to help them stay consistent.
One member shared, “I try not to let little things bother me and try not to stress over things I can’t control! Meditation is amazing if you can turn off and tune into your mind and body!”
Another member said that using the Calm app helped them learn to meditate: “I never knew how to meditate, and it’s great, as it teaches you how to.”
A third member said they found value in attending sessions on living with chronic pain: “I came away after several weeks quite pleased that I attended. They
concentrated on using … mindfulness.”
Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to what’s happening right now — your thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and what’s around you — with a curious, noncritical attitude.
MyLupusTeam members often described movement as both a stress tool and a way to feel more like themselves. The key theme was “as able,” with people choosing walking, yoga, swimming, stretching, or gym time based on pain, fatigue, and flare status.
One member shared, “I like to go for a walk. It de-stresses me greatly.”
Another member wrote, “When I get up and am having pain, I go to the gym anyway, and when I’ve been on the treadmill or the elliptical machine for five or 10 minutes, I notice the pain goes away.”
And one member said: “I attend a yoga chair class once a week. It is very relaxing, and our instructor is wonderful.”
Crafts and creative projects were some of the most practical stress-relief strategies members mentioned using regularly. These activities can be calming because they give your mind a focus that isn’t lupus, pain, or worry.
One MyLupusTeam member shared, “I find removing myself from the situation and listening to music helps me a great deal. I also use those adult coloring books.”
Another member wrote, “I like to knit or to crochet. I find that helps. Or I just lie on the settee with a duvet and a good film.”
A third member said that, in addition to meditating and listening to music, they journal: “I write a lot. It helps to get my thoughts out on paper.”
Stress isn’t just internal. It’s often linked to relationships, responsibilities, and feeling misunderstood. Many members emphasized talking with trusted people, connecting with others who understand, and setting boundaries with negative influences.
One MyLupusTeam member shared, “I talk to my best friend or my parents because 
we are very close, and we talk about anything.”
Another member recommended that others “avoid negative people and environments, and take a stress management and anger management course.”
One member shared how helpful it can be to connect with others living with lupus, such as through sites like MyLupusTeam: “I think this group chat is amazing. Everyone … is able to talk about their symptoms and feelings with people who truly understand what they’re going through. I think this helps in dealing with stress in one way, for sure.”
Many MyLupusTeam members shared that spirituality helps them feel steadier, especially when lupus feels unpredictable. Some mentioned prayer as their first step. Others described a broader sense of faith or surrender as a way to let go of what they can’t control.
One member shared, “The only … constant source of peace and counsel that I’ve experienced is my relationship with God.”
Another said, “Let go and let God. I’m not very religious but deeply spiritual. I literally hand everything over to God. It brings me so much peace when I start to feel stressed, burdened, anxious.”
There isn’t one “right” way to manage stress with lupus. For many people, it takes a mix — something soothing for the body, something that quiets the mind, and someone safe to talk with. You might try one small change this week to see what feels doable, such as a short walk, a bath routine, a few minutes of guided breathing, a playlist, or a creative project.
If stress starts to feel unmanageable or affects your sleep, mood, or ability to function, consider checking in with your healthcare provider. You deserve support that helps you feel more stable, more rested, and more like yourself.
On MyLupusTeam, people share their experiences with lupus, get advice, and find support from others who understand.
How do you relieve stress? Let others know in the comments below.
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